Pastoral Thought--August 19

 So what is your thing?. . . And how much are you will to sacrifice, to work, or plan so that that one thing, that self-care thing, can happen?

Let me tell you about my day so far. . . 

This morning the committee that I serve as co-chair was hosting a quarterly skill building event for the Beaver-Butler Presbytery, The event was scheduled to take all morning. The speak was the Rev. Dr. Roger Owens from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. I was looking forward to Roger’s presentation and also looking forward to re-connecting with him. My committee, Encouraging Churches to Flourish, spent a lot of time planning for, and praying about, this event. We take these skill building events seriously and want to offer training for pastors and church leaders that meets a need that is arising around our community. Today’s event was a based on discernment. It asked the question: how do we identify how God is working and present in our local community as covid continues to flare up around us? 

The event went well and I was blessed by what Roger shared. But, the event ran longer than expected. The pastors who joined us had a lot of questions for Roger and a lot of reflections that they wanted to work through. This is part of the excitement of ministry for us. 

As the meeting ended, I had another commitment that I needed to follow up on and so I spent my lunch time on the phone with a colleague. This call was also a joy and I enjoyed the conversation and knew that it helped the other person.

After that phone call, I needed to get back to planning and working on my portion of worship for our joint “Worship in the Park” service. We are worshipping this weekend with 2 other community churches. But not having a chance to eat some lunch, I could feel my blood sugar was sagging a bit. Nevertheless, I pressed on and continued working and thinking. Finally the grumbling in my tummy was so loud that I choose to stop. As I walked home and into the kitchen to get something eat, I felt a different sensation overcoming me—one that I could not place. 

I shook it off and ate some cold pizza quickly and got back to work. But that ’sensation’ was still there. For the next 30 minutes I noticed that I was having a hard time refocusing on what I was doing before my late-lunch. My mind drifted off and my eyes started catching things that I didn’t need to worry about. Finally I gave up and thought about Luna who I left on the bed looking across the parking lot as I left the house. It had been so long since we walked together. 

Resigned to a lack of productivity, I went home and gathered her up and we want for a walk. The first lap around the church was fine. It was hot but I didn’t care. I was walking and that was a good thing. On the second lap I began to feel something loosening around my heart. Luna was running around me and grabbing every stick that she could find. She carried them along for a bit and dropped them each. 

We walked down to the end of Plains Church Rd and Franklin Rd. Then I realized what was happening. You see, I missed walking with her. I really missed it. Our walks formed part of my daily devotions with God when the weather permitted them. Because of the summer’s heat I had not been able to walk with her much recently. It was good to be back outside. I reached my arms out to each side forming almost a “T” as I walked back toward the house. It felt so good to walk, so good to commune with God in this way. Traffic was light so the sound of the breeze (and Luna’s breathing) was the chorus of worship that I needed. I quietly said out loud, “Its good to be back God. I missed this." 

This was "my thing.” It was how I performed some self-care and I needed it during the covid-lockdown, and the early spring of this year.

At that moment I heard God say to me: “How much are you willing to sacrifice from your already full day to be with me? Will you leave you agenda go for just 30 minutes so that you and I can walk together?” 

I took another very deep breath and finished my walk and came back inside. Luna was panting heavily; the humidity of this warm Aguust day was getting to her. As I walked back to my computer the odd sensation that I felt before was gone. Perhaps what I, or what we, need the most is not one more thing to prove ourselves faithful to God or each other. Perhaps we just need our own “one thing.” What is your thing? And can you make time for it? 

Blessings

Derek