This morning I woke up with a bad headache, and it won’t go away.
This was one of those headaches where two Advil are ineffective. You can feel the tension trickling all the way from the back of your skull and down your entire back. Normally a very hot shower helps me when I feel this way, but that didn’t work out this morning either. I still hurt and could not find relief. The water this morning was tepid at best. The headache had taken root deeply in me. . . In an attempt to address the pain and find a way to be productive, I then began to run through my normal tools to help alleviate the a headache.
The foam roller that we have for back pain did not help my neck as I gently rolled it up and down my back and neck.
I tried to stretch it out my shoulder by putting gentle pressure on each side of my neck in the hope to release the muscles. That did not help either.
So I turned to other things. Hot coffee and my final Cadbury cream egg both tasted good but neither helped the headache. (You know that I am desperate when I sacrifice a Cadbury egg to feel better).
I tried everything that I could think of to help stop the headache and none of it helped—even a little. I still suffered from a pounding in my mind that made it challenging to get ready to face the day with God.
With eyes that look tired and gray, and slumped shoulders, I took my backpack and headed to the church. I didn’t even have the desire to walk a few extra times around the church to enjoy the beautiful, warm, morning. I plopped down in my chair, sipped some more coffee (I actually gulped it if I am being honest), and I tried to start the morning. I opened my backpack and took out the contents. My new book, some audio cables to test out, my blue water bottle, and note pad with various ramblings on it, they all came out and went to their places around my office.
But one things remained in the backpack; one thing that I forgot to mention earlier as a coping tool. . . In an act of pouting I put my soft leather slippers in my bag too in defiance. At the time I figured, ‘well if I am going to suffer with this blasted headache, then at least I will be comfortable!’
And so as I looked into my bag and saw the slippers a small smile crept across my face. I grunted and slipped off my shoes. Then I slid those shoes to the side of my desk, and I put on my gray slippers. . . Instant transformation happened. . . and I do mean "instant."
These shoes are nothing special. They are just a pair of gray American Eagle leather slippers that my mother’s neighbor gave me because he no longer wanted them. They are in very good shape and I happily wear them around often. Emma teases me and says that they are ‘old man slippers,’ but she is wrong. They look great. I wiggled my toes and felt a smile come across my face. The headache is still there, but I am less focused on it, and that helps.
This story makes me wonder about you, today?
You may not have a bad headache. Your morning shower may have been quite warm and inviting. But I am certain that you have had a day, perhaps even recently, when the suffering of the present moment make the prospect of taking the next step feel hard. . . if not impossible. I am sure that you have thought, ‘I can’t do this. I don’t have the energy, or the desire, to take one more step forward.’ But God does not ask us to do anything except be present in the moment. God does not ask us to solve all the problems of the day—especially not on a day when we feel the pangs of suffering creeping around our hearts.
Again, God just wants us to show up and learn from Him, lean on Him, trust Him, rely on Him. The rest of great things that you intended to do with God today can wait until tomorrow. Today, maybe it is enough to just show up, to wiggle your toes, and be content with the loving God who has done so much for us.
I wonder what your ’slippers’ look like? And I wonder if you are brave enough to put them on and let God causes a little smile to come across your face?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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