Tuesday, June 13, 2023

I Wonder--June 13

Today is a day filled with appointments. Already Jennifer and I have been to the doctors to care for her; soon I will head to Charlotte for another set of tests. Then shortly after that 80-minute test is concluded I need to be back in Rock Hill to for a follow-up appointment to understand what the results are saying to my doctor. 

Between these appointment I find myself trying to make sense of an already fully-formed day. Perhaps like me, when your day gets this full, you too find yourself taking time to make sense and understand where life is taking you? 

Knowing how much we had on our schedule both Jennifer and I awoke before our alarm went off. I would like to think that this was just a coincidence, but I know better. We are both anxious; we both want some answers and direction. The full day is on both our minds in some form or another. 

Into that mental space I found the words of Kirk Byron Jones. At the conclusion of an article that I read was this sentence. He writes: 

"In any given moment, God can be as direct and personal as God is mysterious."

Because there is a great deal traveling around in my mind, I am seeking the directness and personal-ness of God. I know that God's presence helps to provide meaning, purpose, and structure to my day and to my life. Yet at some points that clarity is not forthcoming. God seems, as the quotation states, mysterious. 

I don't understand what God is up to; I am unclear about the pathway forward. There are times when I cannot see how this current circumstance is leading to a place where God is glorified and blessed. . . While I believe and trust that God will illuminate my path forward, that conclusion can be hard to find in these moments.

And so I wonder. . . I wonder how do you approach God, the mysteriousness of God's presence, when the substance of your day is full, crowded, and unclear? Is there a word you could utter to God, a phrase, that might help draw you close to God in this moment? Perhaps that might be a way forward for your soul and a way to help you find God at work? 

1 comment:

  1. Prayers for both of you!! I hope the doctors can figure out what's going on with you two.
    Heather

    ReplyDelete

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