So as you know from ready yesterday’s post, Emma took the ‘knowledge’ portion of her driver's test. She said that she felt confident in the test and was ready for it. The line moved easily and we headed in. But sadly, she did not pass the examination. The test ’tripped’ her up on a couple questions so we left the DMV without a driver’s permit and with a sad 16 year-old. Emma’s spirit was a bit bruised. She thought that she knew what she needed, but did not. We rode home in silence. Her head faced the window. It is painful as a parent to witness your child fail at something that they are excited about—even something as minor as a driver’s knowledge test. For them its a big deal, and so it should be treated as such.
But Emma was determined. She came home and studied. . . and studied. . . and practiced. . . She asked a lot of questions of us. And so today, she and I stood outside the DMV 15 minutes before they open so that she could get in and take it again. We went through the same process and I went back to my truck to wait for her. This time I could not do anything. I was a ball of nerves. I tired to relax and listen to a podcast that I enjoy. My mind could hardly concentrate. I hoped she would do better.
Then she was walking back out to me before I knew it. I could not tell if she was happy as her mask obstructed her smile. I noticed the papers she had in her hand, and they did not look any different from what she brought in. Ut-oh. . . I gave her “2 thumbs up”—no response. So I jumped out preparing to comfort her if she failed and knowing that she would get very discouraged if it happened again. My face a picture of hope as walked toward her. Still she is not jumping up and down or giving any indication of a positive result. “Did you pass,” I asked. But as the words left my mouth, her outlook did not change. . . oh boy. . . . ‘Yeah” said said, and her black mask could not hide the smile any longer. Relief! She showed me the signed form and gave me a big, two-armed, hug. I could feel the relief in her sigh.
Once again, I thought of Samuel Wells’ words:
“What gratitude knows is that existence is made up of setbacks, mistakes, challenges, and obstacles, and it is in facing and tackling and sometimes enduring those adversities that mortality is discovered, dependence recognized, and relationship sought. And it is in such relationship, and the unanticipated benefit that accompany it, that true joy lies."
True joy. . . that is what Emma felt. She rode excitedly with me downloading the app on her phone that will track her driving as she approaches the required 65 hours. She looked through the booklet and held that permit in her hands smiling. Yesterday, I suspect that she did not think she would feel this good when she passed. I don’t think she knew that her chin would sit a bit higher and her outlook would be better just because she scored and 18 out of 18. But she knows that truth now.
We stopped in Callery and she had her first driving lesson. And when she was done, she grunted in affirmation at herself.
I wonder if your setbacks, your mistakes, your challenges, and obstacles are a prelude to an experience of true joy as Emma experienced it today? And I wonder, who you know that is going through the same thing today? Maybe a word of encouragement is all that is needed. . .
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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