Pastoral Thought--January 14

One thing that I have noticed, that is growing in our culture, is not that we do not listen to each other. We might say that we listen; we might have convinced ourselves that we do listen well. But stop and think with me for a moment. . . Be honest. When was the last time you really listened to the other person? Deeply listened? Listened without forming a counter argument or response? Listened because it was what God asked you to do in that moment? 

In her book, Sanctuary, Heidi B. Neumark spends time reflecting on a number of encounters that she has as a local Lutheran Pastor. In one section, while quoting Dietrich Bonhoeffer she writes this: 

"In Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote words that long ago convicted me: ’So often Christians. . . think that their only service is always to have to ‘offer’ something when they are together with other people. They forget that listening can be a greater service. . . Christians who can no longer listen to one another will soon no longer be listening to God either.’ His words helped shape my own path forward. I needed to show up and listen to stories offered as a sacred trust by brave storytellers whose names I will never forget." 

It is too easy to say that if we just listened to one another that things would work out in our culture or that the wounds would heal. I wish that were true, but I suspect it is not. Sadly, not everything can be fixed by having a ‘cup of coffee’ with another person and then returning to our normal lives. There are times when a deep change, a new way of learning, and thinking, is necessary for everyone. No longer can we just affirm words like, ‘can’t we all just get along’ and think that this is enough. Too much has happened, and too much has changed, for that be possible. 

A change is called forth by God in us, and referenced by Neumark. 

When we listen to other people we build a sacred trust with them that is strong and grounded in God’s presence. Brick by listening-brick our presence, our willingness to show up, helps the wounded, the marginalized, the forgotten, the hurting, the confused know that someone cares for them. They are valuable to us, and so we listen. In this listening act, the other person learns that someone has taken a chunk of time out of their already full and day to listen. . . really listen. . . deeply listen to what has wounded the other person. In that moment, we stop making people a commodity to gain and we build a relationship together that is based on our willingness to listen. For when we listen, without offering answers or solutions, we are practicing our faith and living as God asks us to live.

And so I wonder, who is God bringing before you that you could listen to? I suspect that the person whom you are called to listen to is not being listened to by others consistently. They might want to be heard, and you might think that they are. But if you look, if you pause and look, you will see that few people listen in that moment.  

Perhaps in a normal day you might not think that this act of listening to them accomplishes anything. But if listening is called forth by God, and I believe that it is, and if listening is our Christian act of service, then you are serving and caring for the other person just because you listen. So find someone to listen to and see what you learn. . .   

Blessings

Rev. Derek