My friends,
This morning began with a phone call. . . Well actually it began by waking up, getting ready for my day, and heading to the church on a cold morning. But the highlight of the morning, what made the morning special, was the phone call. When I was able to return the phone message that my friend left me, we engaged in a nearly 1-hour conversation on a number of important topics. I paced gently, as I often do when I’m on the phone, back and forth around my office listening and responding to questions. Again, this conversation addressed many topics in ministry and life. I answered all of my friend’s questions as clearly as I could and he answered mine with the same clarity and gentleness. In great personal detail we discussed some of the important topics of the day and the church universal’s ministry. Honestly, I have conversations like this often either on my iPhone or through Zoom throughout the week. I enjoy the interactions and the conversations. They bless me.
But then, as our conversation was winding down, my friend wondered about how I was handling the transition of moving JonMark into college???
I sighed and chuckled as the question was asked. I did not expect this to come up, but maybe I should have. . . My friend is a good friend. I know that friendship means taking the time to nurture relationships and it often involves asking questions like, “How are you and Jennifer handling JonMark moving into college?” You and I both know that friendship means listening—deep listening. It means an investment in the life of the other person simply because you care and also because you do not want anything out of the relationship except to listen in that moment.
But he didn’t have to ask. . . and that’s the point today.
He didn’t have to ask me about my son. I neither anticipated talking about JonMark nor excepted it. If our conversation ended without the topic of college transition coming up, I would not have thought any different about the whole encounter. It was still a good, productive, friendship-affirming conversation. And yet, more happened in those 50ish minutes, and it turned out that I needed ‘more’ from my friend. I shared the narrative with him about leaving JonMark at Edinboro and how it still stings a bit. I thought about how we brought JonMark a tote filled with things that he did not anticipate needing over this past weekend, and the joy of having dinner with him. I spoke about how Emma is handing the transition (and the bigger bedroom). I even talked about JonMark’s relationship with my father who has been gone since we came to Plains.
A conversation about secular topics moved into a time of impromptu pastoral care. . . And I was grateful. It was what I needed. I don’t know if my friend knew it, but God did. And God sent him to me today so that I could talk and someone else could listen.
Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t cry during the call, and I don’t feel any additional sadness. At the time of writing this, my heart is uplifted and I feel God’s presence at my desk. Instead, I smiled as I told my story to my friend in great detail. And yet just an unexpected someone taking the time in an already busy morning to listen to me share. . . that’s ministry. That’s sharing a story. That’s God at work, and I am thankful that my friend called.
I wonder who is God bringing to your mind today that might need a phone call just like the one that I had this morning? Who could you spend just a little more time listening to today, and what would that mean for them?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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