I am sitting in a Panera Bread restaurant sipping a cup of coffee on this rainy morning and my soul is a frantic mess. My mind is racing. . . My heart is beating a bit faster than normal. The quiet music playing over my earbuds that is intended to both block out Panera’s music and still my heart is not working. So that I don’t jinx or spoil the events of today that brought me to this restaurant, I will keep the reason for this ‘mobile pastoral thought’ a secret—for now. (Let me just say that it is a good reason, don’t worry).
But as I drink my vanilla cold brew coffee, I must confess Easter-centric feelings bubbling up in me as I wait that I want you to think about this rainy, cool morning.
Let me say that I do not feel especially overjoyed or excited today. I do love a rainy day. I find that rainy days are some of the best days to read and write that God offers me. But the events of today are overshadowing that choice and so writing is harder. . . I also cannot say that I am feeling dread or the heavy weight of life pressing down upon me as some might feel during Holy Week or another dark time in their spiritual lives. My mood is light and I am full of this Easter feeling.
Today I am feeling anticipation.
It is an interesting feeling or emotion to experience if we are honest. Something is happening around me and my emotions are a mixture of many feelings and choices—all of them are trying to distract me from the things in my day that are necessary and that I must attend to. Yet all of these emotions center on, or gather around, feelings of anticipation. And this is also an Easter feeling to express today, and one to wonder with you about.
Tomorrow the sad, heavy feelings and choices of Holy Week will come to the forefront. The story will progress as it does each year. Tomorrow we will gather for the Seder meal at church. We will have communion together in the sanctuary. As we partake of the elements we will remember that Jesus is going to die soon for us. He will choose this. We will extinguish the candles that we normally might light during Advent. It will become dark in our the church—symbolically. But in the midst of that we cannot forget the anticipation that Easter is coming.
The resurrection is going to happen again very soon. The miracle of Jesus’ return will transform the sad, dark, mourning church into a new, vibrant, joyful place. And we anticipate this happening.
And so I wonder today, on this rainy day, how are you feeling, and how are you expressing the feelings of anticipation?
Something wonderful is about to happen for the church. What is that calling you to do or become?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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