Wonderings--October 19

October 18th is always an interesting day for me. . . It is the day where my father entered into Christ's resurrection eight years ago. And while we are often faced with mixed emotional responses to any death, I myself abnormally focused on dad this year. . . 

Normally on the 18th I am a bit quiet (I know that's hard to believe). I am a little more still and attentive to the movements of God around me as I remember dad and remember his influence on my children. For instance, I know that JonMark will be a great Physical Assistant because of how he learned to care for dad for so many years. JonMark and papa were inseparable. When I miss dad I look into Emma's eyes and heart and I can see his fiery presence and commitment raging in her eyes.  

As I waited for a meeting to begin last night, I found myself re-reading some of dad's favorite authors. I do this often when I remember him and how he shaped my life--both the good and the bad. As I read a section from Soren Kierkegaard, I was blessed by the wisdom that I was finding on those pages. This morning I would like to share some of that wisdom with you as I think about my dad. 

In Fear and Trembling, Kierkegaard writes: 

For my part I can well describe the movements of faith, but I cannot make them. When one would learn to make the motions of swimming one can let oneself be hung by a swimming-belt from the ceiling and go through the motions (describe them, so to speak, as we speak of describing a circle), but one is not swimming. 

In that way I can describe the movements of faith, but when I am thrown into the water, I swim it is true, but I make other movements, I make the movements of infinity, whereas faith does the opposite: after having made the movements of infinity, it makes those are finiteness.

I stopped as I finished this section and thought about what I just read. I remembered my dad who taught me a little about Kierkegaard when I was young. As I rocked in my chair, I wondered:

Do I go through the motions of faith more often than I adopt them? 

I say the right thing. I write the correct thing. I read the expected passages of God's word. I smile as I should in public and I offer the expected response to the suffering and struggles of my day. But am I being transformed by them or by God? 

Is the revelation of God at work in my life so that I find myself 'swimming' through my day totally immerse in both God's presence and the call to faithful living and faithful practices? Maybe today take a moment and consider Kierkegaard's illustration as you continue to live faithfully in your local community. 

Blessings

Rev. Derek