Tuesday, January 3, 2023

I wonder. . . January 3

Sitting on my desk in front of me is a pile of seven books on the same topic. Next to the books is a handout from Hebrews 11 and the copy of a chapter from a book that was used in my Doctoral work by an instructor. 

I need to re-read all seven books and the extra chapter by this evening. (Or I should re-read them is probably more accurate of a statement). And like you read who this essay, I know that I will not finish the books and chapter today. Even though the subject is inviting, and I have read all seven before, the task is daunting. 

Several choices present themselves to me in this moment: 

First, I could just pound through the books. Skim away. Try and recall the main point of each book. Then force a conclusion to come together. 

Second, give up. Like I said, I will not get them all read and I could choose disappointment over persistence. 

Or maybe I just let the process unfold as it does. I could smile as I pick up the first book and know that whatever God and I re-learn together is enough. I am not being complacent but instead displaying trust. . .trust in God and trust in myself.

The New Year is already full of expectations that sit in front of you, on your own desk. These expectations stalk you and tell you, that if you are not serious enough in your attention to them, then you are a failure--or at the very least not faithful enough.

But that is not true. 

My morning scripture lesson took me to Luke 2; it was the story of Simeon blessing Jesus. As I thought about Simeon I noticed that he spent a lot of time not knowing, not understanding, and as I think about the pile of books in my desk, he spent a lot of time being stalked by expectations. 

Yet he gently lived into that tension and let God hold his attention. I wonder, could you follow Simeon's example? What would it look like in your life to trust God to help you manage all that needs to be done today? 

Blessings

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