Well today isn’t going according to plan. As I talk with you about it, I bet you will be able to understand exactly how I feel and what I am going through. I wonder if you have felt the same way, and if you have, how does it affect and impact the rest of your day and your faith.
As happens sometimes, last night I slept poorly— very poorly. I was not anxious or worried about anything. I did not have an extra cup of coffee that helped keep me awake and I was not focused on a project that I am working on. No, I just slept poorly. As I woke up around 5:15 this morning, I noticed that my neck was in a bad position and I could feel my heartbeat in my temples. I rubbed my face with both hands and sat up. The headache got worse. . .
My pain was not limited to a bad headache. I could feel tightness around my shoulder blades and it radiated down my back. Standing up, I noticed that my hip flexor or my right side was tight. Clearly, I slept in a bad position and I was now paying for that. . .
I had a few options to work with and I used them all.
I took 2 Advil for the headache. I got an icepack for the base of my neck to help alleviate the tension that was causing the headache. I laid back down and tried to doze back off while Jennifer got ready for work. After she left, I decided to take Luna for a short walk as a way to stretch my hips and back a bit. I knew that Luna would not pull me too badly as it was early in the morning and I could see that a 5am wake-up was hard on her too.
We did not make it very far. My stride length was off and I was sore just walking around the church. Still I was getting no relief from my bad night’s sleep. There was only one thing left to do: take a really, really hot shower to loosen the muscles. That didn’t help much either.
But you know me, I don’t get too worked up on most things. I figured this was ‘going to be one of those days.’ Shrugging off the morning, I sat down to write and work but I noticed that the events of last night were having a great impact on me moving forward. I checked email and completed some needed study-work. But my head still felt ’swimmy’ and I was hampered.
At 9:30 I had an appointment. As I walked to the truck I reflected on how my day did not get off to a good start and I thought, “this is going to be with me all day.”
Whether it is sleep or stress at work, whether we are suffering at home in silence or feeling detached from everyone, those things can stay with us for a long time. I still love the Lord. I still read my bible passages for today. I listened to a devotional that helps shape and challenge me, and I still and worn out by life.
And there is nothing that I can do about it except allow God to come close to my heart in this time. God may not wave a magic wand and I instantly feel better, but God’s presence can abide, and will abide, whether I am doing well or not physically.
We have all had mornings like this, but today I wonder if we let that bad night’s sleep, or the struggle of the day, hold us too tightly and thereby away from God?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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