Today as I prepared to come to the church, I read in The Guardian (England's most reliable, and unbiased, new source). The paper reported that Finland and Sweden are preparing to join NATO, and as I read this, I also I read Russia's response to their choice. The Russians say things like, "this won't go unnoticed by us. It demands a response." The Russians state that they will respond with a potential military build-up near the 810 mile border between Finland and Russia--and I think, "here we go again."
I am upset as I read about protest and public statements related to an upcoming Supreme Court decision and reading about how protesters are gathering around the country--even at the homes of justices--to make their voices heard. And while I support our right to gather and express our opinion, what I read and notice seems less based on a sense of 'coming together' and more 'you won't win.' Last evening JonMark and I talked as he drove home and we wondered together why we cannot have a dialogue anymore? Why must things get to this level of outrage?
I thought about the violence and terrorism in Buffalo as a man traveled 3.5 hours to execute other members of God's family. His actions were completely racially motivated and the way he defined himself to law enforcement sickened my heart. His 100+ page manifesto spouts only hate and theories that defy logic. His attempts to live stream his actions are beyond understanding to me. As he modified his weapon to increase is effectiveness, I wondered how could this happen?
My anger bubbled again as I heard about a church in California who dealt with their own active shooter. And while there were injuries in the church, and some quite serious, the church was able to subdue the attacker. Is not even God's house, the sanctuary, a place where we can take 'sanctuary' any longer?
On and on it went with my frustration and anger growing inside of me. . . And while I know part of the solution is to stop reading the stories, I can say that these incidents still happen whether I read about them or not.
What am I supposed to?
How am I supposed to act or feel? I feel helpless and hopeless. . .
Not knowing exactly what to do, I opened my morning prayer app and I started walking. The heat this morning warming me as I entered my sacred space and traveled around it. Quiet music played first. A passage of Acts was read by someone. The narrator offered some guided prayer for me. . . And I walked in my sacred space.
I slid my glasses off my face and wiped some of the sweat from my eyes. Placing them in my shirt pocket, I took a deep breath and hummed the music that I was listening to. They sang:
There's a song inside of us
A song of beauty and truth
That fear has sometimes stolen
That fear has sometimes stolen
There's a voice inside of us
a voice of creativity
Which judgement tries to silence
Which judgement tries to silence
But now I rise
Pouring out my song of love
Here at your feet
No more fear!
Awake my soul!
While I have been trained to think theologically when confronted by any situation in life, and as I have honed my heart to listen to the spiritual rhythms of God each day, I find that I cannot do more today than simply walk. . . "No more fear. . . Awake my soul!"
Perhaps today you are in a similar place?
Struggling to come to terms with what is happening in our world and community? In that case you are not alone. . . Struggling to see God at work? . . . Again you are not alone in this. Angry, righteously, against what is happening in our world?
If so, I wonder if you might take a moment as I did, and spend time with the Lord? I wonder what the two of you might learn and how you might feel God drawing close? Perhaps God is ready to awaken your soul in a way that is new and helpful?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
Regarding protesting: i heard an interesting comment recently. " while the constitution guarantees you the right of free speech
ReplyDeleteIt does guarantee you the right to make have to listen." When our streets and homes are surrounded by your freedom of speech. Our rights are violated.
I do appreciate that idea. I again wonder how do we find space to be still before the Lord when at every turn it seems someone is pressing so hard into our space that it feels like there is no room left?
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