Pastoral Thought-_June 23

As many of you know, a few years ago I was found to have torn the root of my meniscus completely off the bone in my right knee. The only presenting symptom at the time was a nagging pain that would not go away—at first. Slowly I became unable to bear a lot of weight on that leg. Leaning toward my right side, lunging if you will, was very painful, if not impossible for me. It was a downward spiral. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. My surgeon, who I highly recommend, tied the root of my meniscus back to the bone with screws and metal fibers that hold things in place. I now have three minor scars on my right knee. 

The recovery was hard. I was unable to extend my knee fully out in a locked position for more than a few seconds without shooting pain. I could not bend my knee very far. Crutches and a large black brace were my constant companion for weeks as I torqued the brace down more and more to provide support and stability. I sat as often as I could but even that hurt. WhenI sat, my foot needed propping at a certain angle to relax the strain on my knee. 

Eventually it was time for Physical Therapy (or as a colleagued coined the term that I know use—Physical Terrorism). It was so hard. I started walking around the church and neighborhood slowly to try and speed my recovery. There was a lot of limping in my day and a lot of deliberate choices to force my knee to move the way God designed it. Nine months later, I was done with PT and back to life. 

I try to remain fit. I try to ride our spin bike, walk the dog, and yes, as I have said before, I even run a little all to make sure my knee remains strong. But I am very, and I cannot stress the word ‘very’ enough, careful in everything I do—even if it doesn’t look like it. My stride is short and my feet barely leave the ground when I run. I worry that something will snap in my knee and down I will go. When I was working through PT, Jennifer asked me about how hard PT was compared to my heart surgery recovery. I said there is no comparison. The knee work was more than I thought I could bear. 

But I keep pressing on. I keep running. I keep going. I know that I need to. It is hard, no one told it wouldn’t be. However, I can see the results coming in my stride and my cardiovascular health. This reminds me of something I read today from The Rev. Dr. Graham Standish. He wrote:

“To bear with [or to ‘Be With”] one another, we have to be willing to do things that are against our natural instincts.” 

It felt unnatural to run. I hurt. I did not want to do it. I needed a lot of ice—at first. I heard the words of my surgeon who said that if my knee continues to deteriorate at the pace that he found, then I will need a complete knee replacement in less that three years. Traditional knee replacements only last about 20 years so I will need 2 of them in my lifetime. So I have to do things that might be against my natural instinct in order to be able to “bear with”—both physically and spiritually—my life. 

And so, I wonder, what thing, what practice, what relationship has God placed before you that seems to flow against your natural instinct? Perhaps that “thing” is there for a specific reason. . . Perhaps you are being called to address it so that you can ‘be with’ or ‘bear with’ the other person? I know what mine is. I wonder, do you know yours, and what response does God ask? 

Blessings

Rev. Derek