Pastoral Thought--October 20

Have you ever had one of those days. . .Don’t roll your eyes now. It's a fair question to consider. Have you ever had one of those days?

I thought that I was having one right now (or more specifically five minutes ago). But then God broke in. Let me explain. . .

Today Jennifer and I had a number of doctor's appointments that we needed to go to. We have been booking these appointments today for a few weeks. Our plan was to maximize her day off (today, Tuesday) and accomplish all that needed to be done. And so our day began with that sense of positivity! Then alarm went off early, and I rolled over. . . Or more likely, I tried to roll over. Turns out some "little angel of a dog" decided that sleeping by our feet was not adequate last night. My pillow looked far more appealing and comfortable. So Bianca made her way up to my pillow and camped herself out on it. I was relegated to the mattress and no pillow. Ah well. . . what am I to do? She’s just too adorable to be angry at. 

We both were quite groggy but we weren’t late. In fact we were not late to one single doctor's appointment all day. I just felt half-a-step behind. It was one of those days.

I tried to write my “Pastoral Thought” in the waiting room this morning. Didn’t work. I couldn’t concentrate, and when I achieved the correct balance of creativity and concentration, it was time to move on to the next office. I shrugged. . .

We ate lunch as a family and I tried to write again. But it was not happening. JonMark needed my attention to confirm his plans for college tonight. Emma wanted to text me about having to go to gym class outside—she was annoyed. Laundry. Dishes. Coffee! It all seemed to add up to a day when this note wasn’t going to happen. And I was fine with that. It is just, say it with me, one of those days.

Now I am in my third chair and want to write. Again it’s not going well. Bianca is standing on the footstool inches from my laptop barking at me. Her eyes bulging with each bark. She will not be ignored! She’s been at it for a minute straight now and I am beginning to wonder what her issue is. She’s eaten and she’s gone out. What am I missing. Then it happened. Her tiny little paw reaches out and gingerly steps onto my thigh. . . Then back off. . . Back onto my thigh. . . Then back off. She wants love. 

And so, love she gets. I close my laptop and put it aside, she hops up triumphantly onto my lap and walks very close to my face and sits down. As I scratch her neck, Bianca closes her eyes and leans into the scratch. It’s the highlight of her day, and it is becoming mine. In this act, I am reminded of the Catholic poet Denise Levertov who wrote a poem that I treasure an re-read often: 

“As swimmers dare

to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.”

My favorite lines in the poem is: "So that I would learn to attain free fall, and float into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace.”

Sometimes it just feels like one of those days when everything is not going to work out in the way that you planned. It feels like Monday all over again, and despite our best intention, we cannot seem to shake that idea. But what if God is offering us a chance to dwell close to someone who loves us? What if, when one of those days or moments begins, we take it as an opportunity to “float into God’s deep embrace?” I wonder how that could change your day and your mood? 

Blessings

Rev. Derek