Today I am working from my home office. From time to time this practice becomes necessary. While my “church" office contains most of my library and pastoral resources, my home office has a different feeling. This is a more ‘informal’ space and I enjoy working from it when I need to.
Working from home became a necessity today as Jennifer and I are waiting on a pair of packages to be delivered that both require a signature (or at least that is what UPS and FedEx state on their website). So, with JonMark busy at college, and Emma at school, here I am waiting for the packages while I work from home. I settled down to begin my day. I have research to do for the sermon. Worship to work on. And a book to read. But first, I decide to check my email. That was a mistake. . . By checking email, I could learn the estimated delivery time for both of these items. Having that information in hand might just be helpful in order to keep the dogs quiet and make me more productive.
So as my email opened, I found myself being derailed!
UPS offered my a satellite view of the driver’s route and stated the my package would here soon. On screen I saw a little brown star (my home) and compared it with the little brown truck (self-explanatory I suspect). I smiled. . . The driver was on Peter’s Road which is less than 1 mile from my desk here in the guest room. 'Won’t be long now,’ I thought. . . that was at 9am. . . It's noon. . . The truck is still cutting back and forth across Rowan and Peters Road. He is still 1 mile away. The website labels his location as “Near your home.” But that does not help my mind relax.
Waiting for FedEx hasn’t been any easier either. At 11:30am I heard a FedEx truck back up in our neighbor’s driveway. I thought, ‘Well here we go!’ as I trotted down the steps. I watch him pull out of the Lee’s driveway, turn toward my home, and drive into the church parking lot right past me. (cue the eye roll). I know the driver, and so why is he trying to deliver at the church, he knows that I live over here!? So I stand in the driveway and watch him.
CNS is not in session by this point as today is the school's Halloween parties. He looked in the dark window. . . No one is there. He tries to squeeze the package in the mail slot next to the door. Then I yell, “I’ll take it over here!” He waves and jogs back to the truck and drives to me. As he hands me the package I notice that is is from Staples. . . and it is not what I am waiting for either.
“Out for delivery,” yeah right!
At this point my frustration level is high, bordering on neurotic. . . Why can’t my items get here! I want them now! I am ready to use them now! Jennifer ordered both of them a week and a half ago, and I have patiently waited without obsessing for them. I mean seriously, I only checked email for status updates twice a day since the order was placed—even on Sunday. I’ve been patient. . . Or have I been?
As I walk back into the house, with the Staples order in hand, that I realize that the anticipation of what is to come is robbing me of being present in the moment. God wants to be active and at work in my life. But I suspect that my obsession with these deliveries has put up a wall between God and myself. And I wonder if you have the same experience in your own life?
The book that I wanted to read today, the one given to me by a friend, I have barely been able to open it despite the fact that it relates directly to my D.Min. work. I read the introduction yesterday and my creativity told me that it could be helpful at church in many ways. . . I can’t read it now. I’m too distracted. The devotional that I am writing hasn’t been worked on yet, even though I do my best work in small writing blocks. Instead, I have focused my entire morning on checking for status updates on a delivery.
How is God being served by my behavior?
I am still going to check for status updates even after I realize that I am living with a distracted mind. . . But what if I found a healthy way to handle those moments that attempt to distract me from the work of God in my life? What if I realize that the symbolic UPS or FedEx will deliver when they do and that nothing I do, nothing that I obsess over, can stop that. Maybe, that revelation will help us in some way today?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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