Since I was a little boy, I regularly have been attacked by bouts of worrying. Worry, and the anxiety it produces, are both constant companions in my life—even to this day. Self-talk, affirmative actions, deep breathing, recalling events where I was successful, and other self-help practices are only so effective. I still face and address worrying often. Now though it is not as debilitating as it was when I was younger.
Now I have Jesus to help, and a family to re-affirm me, when I worry too much.
However, when I was a boy, I often got so worried on the school bus that I would get sick and have to come home early from school. In those days my worrying was over trivial things that I could never control but they ate at me and consumed me. Would it be sunny today? What if I was still hungry after lunch? What if I missed the bus and was stranded at school? What if I was late to go anywhere (this one is still with me and I adopted the policy in college that serves me well to combat it—"on time or not at all").
My struggles with worrying were hard to deal with, but I managed. I grew and I developed healthy habits to combat these moments. Now they are less frequent—but they are still alive deep in my mind and spirit. And so, even when I find myself worrying, or on the cusp of worrying, I return to my healthy habits, and to God, and I thrive.
As an adult I find different things to worry about that are less debilitating but still serious. The election. The state of the economy. My children’s future. The coronavirus. . . and a presentation that I am making tomorrow to the presbytery. In their own way, each of these is worth the worry. But each of them can also be something more if I am willing to look for it.
I want to offer you a couple things when you find yourself about to fall victim to worrying and anxiety.
First, the words of Nicole Calhoun. She once wrote, " When we worry, the tendency to first seek God’s direction goes out the window.” In my bouts of personal worry, I try to find a little space for God to dwell with and in me. My worries can place me on an island where God is far from me--but they don't have to be as isolating.
The second thing I want to offer you is an exert from Paul’s words to the church of the Philippians. In Philippians 4:6-9 we read:
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”
Neither of these two statements will completely remove the tendency to worry or be anxious that we deal with. But what they can do, is remind us of God’s place in our lives when we feel that the worries of the day are too much for us to address. When I feel myself falling into my own self-created moment of worrying, I remember what Paul says. I remember what Calhoun wrote, and I find myself able to address the worries a bit more appropriately.
I cannot fix them all. I cannot resolve the issue totally—even if I want to. However, I can create room in my day for God to break through and care for me.
I wonder if you could do the same?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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