After a month and a half of working on a project for the Presbytery, today was the day that my work was finished. I was presenting what I learned in my doctoral program to the Encouraging Churches to Flourish Skill Building Event. And if you have followed along with my “Pastoral Thoughts” this week, then you probably guessed that I was anxious about the whole thing. I know my material well. It took me 5 years to accumulate and finalize it. My conclusions are my own, and I am proud of what I learned.
During the time when I wrote my final paper, I cried out to God often for help, for determination, and for endurance. On more than one occasion, I wondered what would happen if I stopped; if I gave up. But I didn’t and I am very thankful for the results—as I am thankful to the people who helped support me in the work at home, and in the church. I know without them, I would not be writing this today.
So back to this morning and my thoughts for today. . .
I spent almost 2 hours with a group of my colleagues talking through my research and my findings. I explained my Doctoral process and how I implemented it here at Plains. It was wonderful to watch my friends and colleagues scribble little thoughts down on the handout that I gave them and ask questions. I felt a sense of joy, of validation, that what I was presenting was landing in their minds in a similar was as it did to mine.
I closed in prayer, signed out of Zoom, and leaned back in my chair and rocked. My eyes tracked toward heaven (as if heaven is above me) and I *sighed.* 45 days of practicing, preparing, reading, and editing my presentation were complete. The work was done. I felt immensely blessed by being able to have this conversation with them.
As I stood to open my door, I was reminded of something that I read in an Anne Lamott book a while ago. In her book, Help, Thanks, Wow: Three Essential Prayers, she writes the following about the prayer that I was trying to articulate as I finished speaking to the presbytery group:
“Wow is often offered with a gasp, a sharp intake of breath, when we can’t think of another way to capture the sight. . . of a sudden unbidden insight or an unexpected flash of grace. “Wow” means we are not dulled to wonder. . . “Wow” is about having one’s mind blown by the mesmerizing or the miraculous."
Now that my presentation is finished I can say that I know what it feels like to say ‘Wow’ to God. To have nothing more to say to the Lord on High, because of the many blessings that I feel in the moment, besides “Wow.” This was the moment when the anxiety and worry of the past few days was overshadowed by the grace of God that was with me. This was the presence that I felt, and as I walked to lunch, all I could say on this beautiful day was, ‘Wow.”
There is a lot that you have been confronted with today that is NOT the cause of ‘Wow’ in life. But I wonder if you can find room today to say ‘Wow’ to Jesus? I wonder what would happen if you turned to Jesus and found something small to be ‘Wowed’ about? I bet it might just change the entire day. . . It did for me!
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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