The statement that I am going to share with you from James Finley's podcast, Turning to the Mystics, came to me in the middle of October 2021. When I heard his idea presented on the show, I was driving in my truck carrying 11 totes of books. We were making our transition to Bethesda.
Each trip that we took about 8 hours one-way. Emma and Jennifer were in front of me keeping a nice pace as we drove that morning. By this point I had finished a couple episodes of other shows that I like. I listened to my audiobook about the Enron collapse for a bit. But I felt that I needed some more time with God.
In the episode of his podcast, James was unpacking how he had come to understand the practice of scripture meditation. His co-host asked if he might provide an example--which he was happy to do.
Reading out of Luke 22, James spent considerable time just letting the text speak to him. This passage is where Jesus is afraid before his arrest. He is anxious. He is worried. As I listened to James talk about how the text was impacting him, I wondered if God was speaking directly to me. Here is the conclusion that James offered, and I have wrestled with it nearly every day since that warm autumn day as I bought my library to Bethesda:
"If Jesus was tempted in all ways as I am, and if in this passage Jesus said do not be afraid. . . but he was afraid on this night. . . So does that mean that I'm not to be afraid. . . to be afraid."
That is not a typo. So I would like you to re-read that sentence because it is wordy and complex if you read it quickly.
Jesus was afraid before his arrest. He said as much. . . I am afraid at times in my life. . . Does his fear have value to me?
Does it mean that I should not fear when a situation arises in my life where my natural inclination is one of fear and hesitation? But let the fear come because in the 'fear's coming' I can once again be one with Jesus who died for me?
There are a lot of reasons to be afraid. Some great; some small. Today the bandage was removed from my knee and my first thought when it was time to walk was filled with fear (and rightly so as I am not fully healed). But in my fear, an opportunity existed to notice that God is already in that room with me. He is with me in this as he is in all things.
James words, which are complex, deep, and rich, have stuck with me every since I heard them that day. I wonder if they can speak to your life today?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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