For the last two weeks since my full knee replacement I have tried to sleep in bed at night. As with my time sleeping in my recliner in the den, I cannot sleep through the night and so I am often tired. I wake two or three times per night with an aching in my knee. Sometime the pain tracks along the inside of my knee; other times the pain is only on the outside. Truthfully I cannot find a reason or cause for this pain besides that I had a joint replacement and my body is working to accept the assistance--and I know that it will take some to heal.
Two or three times a night, I roll over quickly and grab my knee.
Rubbing my knee until I feel some heat building, I turn, twist, or move to find a place to 'escape' the discomfort and try to sleep again. Early on I would reach for pain medication. . . Now I only need Advil. Yet still I wake routinely at night and clutch my new knee. . . Some nights, when my frustration is high, I even wonder if I will ever sleep through the night again! (Don't worry I will and I know that this is temporary).
But let's go back to my question. . . Do you deny or spurn that which is there to help?
My doctors, and my physical therapist, have both offered me a solution to help me sleep: a pillow. They tell me to put in under my knee from thigh to heel so the knee locks out. Or, my care team tells me that I can also put the pillow between my knees and lay only on my left side--the non-surgical side.
But being unbalanced in bed (not laying level) means that I am still waking often. So, I discarded the pillow a few days ago and attempted to find a remedy on my own. It didn't work. When I don't have my pillow I still wake up, but now there is a consequence of not listening to my doctors. I hurt.
While before I woke and was uncomfortable, now when I deny the pillow, I wake up in pain. Great pain. So, then I have to walk/hobble down the hall to the guest room and retrieve the pillow.
Placing it back where it belongs I try again to rest. . . and it helps.
I still wake up throughout the night (probably because the pillow falls off the bed), but I sleep better. I rest more evenly.
There are things in our lives that God puts there to help us in our spiritual walks. God gives us our own 'pillows' to help us through the pains of our days that keep us up at night and keep us suffering in spiritual pain. His word. Prayer. Spiritual listening. A church community. A loving family. . . These are just some of the ways that God offers us support when we hurt.
The question is will we accept what is offered to us, or will we deny what is there to help?
Blessings
Rev. Derek
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